I just binged. I fought the gooey butter cake, and that gooey butter goodness won. I feel terrible and miserable and nauseous. It was not worth it. I needed to document this so I can refer back and always remember. Never forget this crappy feeling. It’s not worth it.


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Aaaaand I’m back

Wow, long time no see, eh? It’s been a rough winter/spring/start of summer over here.

Let’s keep this short and sweet, shall we? After I lost almost 30 lbs in the beginning of this year, I have since gained it back. What happened? Life happened, my friends. I was busy and stressed over work, school, and baby issues. Unfortunately, I am not the type that loses weight when stressed. I’m the type that binges on a bag of Cheetos Puffs when stressed to the max. Because of this my weight has gone back up to 354.6. Now I weighed myself at the end of the day, so that’s possibly a tad high, but nonetheless, I am back up again.

Am I proud of this? No. Am I beating myself up over this? I can’t. If I did, I would fall back into that negativity hole and never climb back out. I told myself Friday, “Self, today is a new month. It’s a new beginning. You HAVE to change. If you don’t, you may leave this Earth far too soon. Do it now before it’s too late.” And I listened. I visited my doctor that morning due to a foot injury, stopped at the farmer’s market on the way home, and made good choices all day. Since Friday I have not had fast food and have not had one bit of soda. Insert happy dance! I am ready to start fresh again.

So why am I back at this blog? Well, I received a comment from an old friend today, which reminded me that I need to hold myself accountable again. So here I am for the World (or one reader) to see. I’m putting it all out there again, in hopes it will help now the way it did in January.

So, as I sit here and listen to the explosions outside my window, I envision the way I want my life to be. I want to be healthy and happy. I don’t want to be sad and miserable anymore. I can’t look back anymore.

And just for fun…

1. List a few common items that can always be found in your fridge. Apples, Laughing Cow cheese, strawberries, Newman’s Own Pineapple Salsa (OMG, I LOVE THIS!)

2. What kind of milk do you drink? I’m trying to stay away from milk, as my body does not react well to it, but we have Skim or 1%.

3. Do you prefer fresh or frozen vegetables? Fresh for sure.

4. What do you currently have to drink in the fridge? Water, milk, lemonade, beer, a bottle of champagne, tea.

5. How often do you clean out your refrigerator? Once a week on Tuesdays (it’s trash night).

6.What’s the healthiest thing in it right now? Fruits (apples, pineapple, plum, nectarines, strawberries) and vegetables (broccoli, carrots, bell peppers).

7. What’s the most unhealthy thing in it right now? French Onion Dip and some white cheesy salsa dip.

8. What do you wish you had in it that you don’t have now? I need more veggies, wraps, and strawberries. I cannot get enough strawberries in my liiiife.

9. How often do you shop for groceries? Haha, funny. Lately I’ve been in a rut and haven’t truly shopped in a while. I need to make the attempt tomorrow. When I’m on plan, once a week.

10. What’s the weirdest thing in your fridge right now? Weirdest? Ooh, I have a LUSH shower jelly in my freezer right now, but I won’t be eating that. Other than that, nothing’s coming to mind.

Until next time!

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It’s Wednesday!

It’s that time again! It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week, and weigh-in day over at Shrinking Jeans. I hope my fellow Shrinkers had a great week: personally, professionally, and healthily. Here are my results for the week for the Power of One Challenge.

Starting Weight: 357.4 lbs.

Last Week’s Weight: 341.6 lbs.

Current Weight: 337.8.

Difference: -3.8 lbs.

Total loss thus far: 19.6 lbs.

I’m so close to twenty! I can feel twenty, I can taste twenty. Seriously, I feel so fabulous right now. While I know I still have a long ways to go, I’m finally ok with that. I want to write more, but I am wiped out from an evening in grad school. Assessment and Methods of Teaching Science. Thrilling, no?

Until next time! I promise to write more this week. I’ve been a terrible blog friend. 😦

Much love to you all!

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True Confession Tuesday

Hello, friends. Here’s my weekly confession.

Here’s the truth, guys. I’m exhausted. As some of you probably know, I’m a full-time educator and a full-time graduate student. My semester started last Wednesday and I’m already wiped out. Additionally, we received four new students in the last two weeks, all with significant behavioral challenges. Wiped out, I tell you. This has lead to a few bad food choices, but I have remained on target for the most part. I have learned the hard way that my body really does not obsess over ice cream the way my head, emotions, and taste buds do. My body was rejecting that ice cream like it’s nobody’s business. Lesson learned the hard way. Also, peanut butter. I’ve had major heartburn tonight due to two spoonfuls of that delicious creamy goodness. 😦

On the up side, I’ve rediscovered Justin Timberlake’s Future Sex/Love Sounds CD. This music gets me singing and moving all over the place, even in my desk chair. It’s an instant stress reliever, like the best kind of natural drug. I love music with a good beat that puts a smile on my face and pep in my step. I desperately needed that pep tonight.

I’ll be back to weigh in tomorrow. I hope to start posting more as things begin to calm at school, work, and home. That’s my goal, anyway.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get out of this damn chair and get my groove on!

What music gets you up and moving?

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It’s time to weigh in!

This will be super duper quick, and I will try to edit tomorrow. I’m pretty sure we’ll have another snow day tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll have the time to come back and finish this post.

It’s that time again! It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week, and weigh-in day over at Shrinking Jeans. I hope my fellow Shrinkers had a great week: personally, professionally, and healthily. Here are my results for the week for the Power of One Challenge.

Starting Weight: 357.4 lbs.

Last Week’s Weight: 344 lbs.

Current Weight: 341.6 lbs.

Difference: -2.4 lbs.

Total loss thus far: 15.8 lbs.

Not as great a loss as the past two weeks, but a loss is a loss. I’ll take it.

Until next time!

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True Confession Tuesday

Hi, all! Sorry I’ve been MIA this past week. Things have been busy around here. I’ve been getting ready for the new semester to begin (starts tomorrow!) and busy busy with work. My husband is actually home tonight (!!!), so this post will be super quick! Of course I’ll be back tomorrow after class with my weigh-in post.


The good:

-I’ve spent a lot of quality time with my husband lately. We definitely needed to reconnect.

-I visited Fleet Feet Sunday and was fitted for shoes and inserts!

-My house has stayed clean for the majority of the week!

-I have had so much energy lately and find myself smiling all the time for no reason at all. It’s amazing what good food and exercise can do to improve your mood.

-I joined Weight Watchers (again) on Saturday. It was a great experience.

-We had an awesome three-day weekend!

The not-so-good:

-Even though I have been exercising more, I am still the worst couch potato. I waste way too much time on the internet and watching mindless tv shows. I try to convince myself I am getting all the lazy out of my system before the grad school semester starts tomorrow. Yeah, I like that idea. 😉

-I have not been logging my food in my WW log the past few days. I am terrible at tracking.

-I’m still breaking in my new inserts and my feet are still killing me. The guy at Fleet Feet told me my arches have completely collapsed. I knew my arches were falling, but didn’t realize it was that bad. Blah, the pain of flat feet!

-We’re supposedly getting more snow this week! Boo! No more snow days! I want to go on my vacation in May.

I think that’s all she wrote, friends. I’m off to cuddle up to my husband for the night. It’s such a fabulous luxury to have my hubby home in the middle of the week!

See ya tomorrow. 🙂

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Wednesday Weigh

It’s that time again! It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week, and weigh-in day over at Shrinking Jeans. I hope my fellow Shrinkers had a great week: personally, professionally, and healthily. Here are my results for the week for the Power of One Challenge.

Starting Weight: 357.4 lbs.

Last Week’s Weight: 348.8 lbs.

Current Weight: 344 lbs.

(Sorry for the crappy iPhone quality, and the crazy toes. Yes, it’s true, my big toes are still celebrating Christmas while the others are ready for summer.)

Difference: -4.8 lbs.

Total loss thus far: 13.4 lbs.

As for my challenge goals…

Sleep: I’ve done much better with sleep this week. Yesterday was a snow day and I was able to get some good sleep in. Overall, I feel rested and relaxed throughout the day now.

Emotional/binge eating: I am doing better with asking myself if I am truly hungry, or just bored/mad/sad/happy/lonely, etc. This will obviously be a work in progress, and hopefully not a constant struggle. Today I really wanted some Taco Bell. I needed that Taco Bell. Did I give in to the Taco Bell? Negative, my friends. The willpower is strong.

Give up soda and drink more water: YES! I have not had a soda all week. I have been drinking water like it’s going out of style. I am already noticing a difference in the way I feel. I am craving water and honestly want nothing to do with soda right now. I even ordered a water when I had date night with my husband. That’s unheard of for me.

Move more: I’m doing much better with this. I’ve been doing Zumba and Turbo Jam, and getting up and cleaning my house every day. It’s amazing what energy does to a person! On a less than positive sidenote, I am having trouble with my feet. They are hurting like crazy while I’m exercising. I’ve tried arch support inserts to no avail. I’m up for any suggestions!

Stop obsessing over numbers on the scale: I’m still weighing myself frequently. The good news is I’m not OBSESSING, just curious… 😉

Remind myself I am beautiful: I’m getting better. My husband is definitely reminding me, like always! Love him.

Break the fast food cycle: Still doing well. Have not had any fast food all week.

Finally, try something new: I have an acupuncture appointment for January 17th!

Well, that’s all she wrote. I’m off to modify History assignments for 7th graders. Be jealous, be very jealous! 😛

Have a fantastic week(end)!

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