True Confession Tuesday

…and I’m back with another post. First things first, let’s re-examine that to-do list from before, shall we?

Tuesday To-Do’s
Mop kitchen floor
Vacuum main floor of house
– Start organizing the mess in the office
Blog again (it’s True Confession Tuesday)
Have everything ready for tomorrow
– Clean off pile of junk on my desk. I should take a photo to show you all the mess. It’s ridiculous.
– Turbo Jam! – NEXT!

Not too bad, considering I added more chores to my list throughout the day. There’s nothing like a clean smelling house. I love it.

Now, for my true confessions!

– I am not logging every piece of food that enters my body. I’m not. I admit it. I feel this to be a tedious hassle. I’m trying to be better about this.

– Even though I did a lot of housework today, I have not done a traditional workout since Sunday. Time to Turbo Jam it up after this post.

– My office is still a disaster area. Yikes!

– I am dreading the start of the new semester in a week. I am about to begin my fourth semester of grad school and each new semester brings on feelings of apprehension. I’m sure I will do just fine, and hopefully I can stay on point with my eating. I will need to eat on the way to school, so leave me healthy suggestions for eating on the run!

– We had a snow day today! It was glorious. I went back to bed and slept until 9:30. I stayed in pajamas for most of the day. I didn’t even bring my mail in today. It’s been a nice, relaxing day with my pups. See my las post for pictures of two of my gentle giants.

– I’ve been putting off my big post about emotional eating/binging/fast food addiction because I don’t want to face. Yes, I have done well the past two weeks not doing any of these things, but it is still a scary reality to face. I know I should just put my big girl panties on, and face it, and I will…soon.

– Finally, a GREAT confession. Last week I made the Leaderboard over at Shrinking Jeans and I was thrilled to see my name!

Seeing my name on that list helped solidify something deep within me. I am capable of doing this. I am capable of so much more than I gave myself credit for. I am honored to be on that list with those ladies, many of which inspire me each day. I can’t wait to see myself at this time next year.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to Turbo Jam. See you tomorrow for weigh-in!

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Snow day, snow day!

Being an educator definitely has its perks. Today, my friends, is one of those days where I am enjoying the perks. We got a few inches of snow here in the Midwest yesterday and this morning, which usually equals a snow day for teachers and students around the area. The dogs and I are enjoying our surprise day off.

Dogs:
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I couldn’t take too many because the wind is fierce out there, and this lady did not have any gloves on. The dogs did enjoy romping around in the snow, though. As for me, I was up at 5, got the call by 5:15, played around on the ‘net until 6, and was back in bed by 6:15. I snuggled into my blankies until 9:30, and it felt glorious. The rest of my day will be more productive than the beginning. I love making lists, so here’s my game plan for the rest of today:

Tuesday To-Do’s
– Mop kitchen floor
– Vacuum main floor of house
– Start organizing the mess in the office
– Blog again (it’s True Confession Tuesday)
– Have everything ready for tomorrow
– Clean off pile of junk on my desk. I should take a photo to show you all the mess. It’s ridiculous.
– Turbo Jam!

I guess I should get off my bum and get started on my list. I’ll be back later with my true confessions post!

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Monthly Project – Dear Self

January 7th, 2011

Dear Self,

Greetings from the future! I am writing this from that strange, unknown, and for some, scary year of 2012. Work was great today; I felt incredibly energetic and on top of my game with our students. I couldn’t help but reflect back on our fun-filled adventure otherwise known as 2011. Especially considering at this time in 2011, we had trouble walking up the stairs of the middle school several times a day. Let’s take a look back at how far we’ve come this past year, shall we?

In January you were just beginning to change your life for the better. You had heard of the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, and followed them on various social media sites, but had never really investigated what was up with the site. You finally took the time to read their website, and you were blown away. You were inundated with so many positive messages from women who had changed their lives for the better. You knew at that moment that those changes were in your grasp as well. You felt more confident in yourself than you had in a very long time. So, you joined the challenges and started a blog, and began your journey to better yourself.

Along the way you tackled the toughest of issues – emotional eating, binging, depression, your reclusive tendencies, your fear of being completely naked in the light in front of your (amazing) husband, etc. You were open and honest and received an incredible amount of support from women you now call friends. You grew to become the beautiful, emotionally stable, open, confident, sexy woman you are today. It’s true, girl, you’re a sexy piece of woman! And you’re husband agrees with me! 😉

You tackled your fertility issues and had many big conversations with the hubby about your feelings of inadequacy relating to those issues. You have made peace with the notion of “whatever will be, will be.” You are no longer a giant bundle of stress and nerves, just waiting to explode all over each student, friend, family member and/or innocent bystander unlucky enough to be near you. You re-found another great support system in your Weight Watchers family. Even more amazing, you were a wonderful support to so many other women who were experiencing the same difficulties you were.

Physically, you finally completed that dang Couch to 5K program that you were always starting and quitting. See, self, you ARE capable of amazing things. You began the program and you finished it. Get down with your bad self! You slowly worked up to exercising each day, and you couldn’t feel better. Your energy level is sky high, and it shines through in everything you do.

Lastly, you are nearing the conclusion of your graduate degree. You are that much closer to a Masters degree in Special Education. And you thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel! Turns out you just needed to pull yourself out of that negativity ditch you had buried yourself in. It took a lot of work, and you were pretty dirty and stinky at the end, but you made it out alive. Successfully. Healthy. Happy. More in love with husband with each passing day. You made it. And you’re so worth it.

So, keep your chin up, 2011. This year has so much in store for you. You will have to work for it, but nothing in this life ever comes easy or free. So, get to it.

Sincerely and sarcastically yours,
Me/You/Us/We

P.S. I love you!

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Wednesday Weigh-in

Woohoo, it’s Wednesday! The middle of the week, and weigh-in day over at Shrinking Jeans. I hope my fellow Shrinkers had a great week: personally, professionally, and healthily. Here are my results for the week for the Power of One Challenge.

Starting Weight: 357.4 lbs.

Current Weight: 348.8 lbs.

Difference: -8.6 lbs. WOW! While I’m sure this is water weight, I could care less. That scale is down and I am thrilled!

As for my challenge goals…

Sleep: I have not done so well with sleep. Monday and Tuesday I took naps in the evening, and couldn’t fall back asleep until well after 11pm. Tonight, I have not taken a nap and hope to be in bed around 9/9:30.

Emotional/binge eating: I am doing better with asking myself if I am truly hungry, or just bored/mad/sad/happy/lonely, etc. This will obviously be a work in progress, and hopefully not a constant struggle.

Give up soda and drink more water: YES! I have not had a soda all week. I have been drinking water like it’s going out of style. I am already noticing a difference in the way I feel. I am craving water and honestly want nothing to do with soda right now. Hopefully this feeling lasts.

Move more: I must admit, I have not done any typical exercise. I am up and down the stairs all day at work, but that doesn’t seem like much of a workout compared to my past history with exercise. I’m trying to introduce small changes and plan to begin working out next week.

Stop obsessing over numbers on the scale: I wrote about this yesterday in my confessions post. I am still weighing myself far too frequently. It’s a work in progress, just as I am a work in progress. I’m confident it will get better with time.

Remind myself I am beautiful: Shrinkers, I am still struggling with this one, hardcore. There are times I look at myself and consider myself decent from the chest up. From the chest down, I’m still a hot mess. However, that hot mess is me, and I am beginning to accept myself for who I truly am. I am so much more than a number on a scale. You are, too!

Break the fast food cycle: I am doing well with this goal as well. I have had no fast food all week, unless Subway counts! If it does, I will confess to that oven-roasted chicken breast on wheat. It was delicious and a much better alternative to the McDonald’s that was next door!

Finally, try something new: I have an acupuncture appointment for January 17th!

So there you have it. I feel I have made great progress in one week. Onward and upward!

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True Confession Tuesday

I’m going to make this one short and sweet, because this teacher is exhausted. Today was the kiddos first day back from winter break. They were fairly well behaved and most worked well. However, I had a difficult time due to scheduling nightmares and lack of sleep. Needless to say I was thrilled when that glorious bell rang at 2:50. With all that being said, I must get into bed very soon because that 5am wakeup call always comes too soon.

Without further adieu, here is my True Confession Tuesday!

– I did not stick to my no multiple weigh-in goal. I have weighed myself around four times since last Wednesday. There’s no excuse for this…when you’re an addict, you’re an addict! I must give myself some credit, because four times is not much for me! I’m still working on this one.

– I did not take pictures or measurements. I’m hoping to do so this weekend when my husband returns from work (he travels during the week for work). Hopefully with his assistance, I can get some numbers down.

– I did not eat a proper dinner last night of tonight. Both nights I have come home, taken care of business, fed the dogs, sorted the mail, and laid down for a nap. Because of this, I ended up eating a few pretzel rods for dinner last night, and a spoonful of reduced fat peanut butter tonight. Seriously? Seriously!? These habits have got to go.

– Here’s a good confession: I have had no soda and no fast food for three days now. I know that seems trivial, but for someone who ate fast food almost every day, this is a huge deal. I still need to tackle the fast food issue in another post.

– Lastly, I have not been tracking or calculating my WW points this week. I haven’t been binging, but I’m not sure I’ve eaten all my points either. I’m returning to meetings Saturday, so hopefully I can rectify this.

And there you have it! My first True Confession Tuesday! Feels good to get that off my chest. Until next time, friends!

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Here’s to the small victories

Today has been a good day.

Today I ate three meals: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I had one snack. I did not binge at all! I did not eat because I was bored, sad, mad, happy, emotional, etc. I have not had any soda. This is a very big deal for me, hence the blog post. It may seem silly, but I need to celebrate the small stuff throughout this journey!

For my own purposes:
Breakfast: Oatmeal, glass of milk
Lunch: Leftover Thai Chicken pizza from CPK (wheat crust, chicken, bean sprouts, carrots, ginger-peanut sauce, cilantro)
Dinner: Sunday is always date night. We went to Panera tonight. I had half a Asiago Roast Beef sandwich, half salad, water. Yum.

I definitely need to hit up the grocery store tomorrow as I am lacking fresh produce. I need produce in my life.

My winter break is now over, and it’s back to the middle school tomorrow. Break went by too fast, but it will be nice to get back to my schedule. Staying up late the last week has worn my body down. I need more discipline in my life.

I hope everyone has a wonderful first week of January!

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Hello world!

Hello, non-existent internet readers! My name is Mrs. K and I am ready to tackle my health/fitness/weight issues once and for all. Sure, we all say similar things at the start of a new year, but I am beyond ready. I lost over thirty pounds for my wedding in Fall 2009, and have since gained fifty! That is ridiculous, disgusting, and depressing. However, rather than wallowing in self-pity about poor pitiful me, I’ve decided to stand up, be a woman, and DO SOMETHING about it. This is my life. I’m taking it back!

If you want to know a little about me, please go read my “About the Blogger” page. Otherwise, I’ll add bits and pieces as I continue on this journey of self-discovery.

Today is day one of the Power of One challenge challenge over at Shrinking Jeans, and I couldn’t be more excited or scared to join anything right now. Part of the challenge requires blogging weekly check-ins. As a part of my first check-in, I am also to include my Healthy Living Goals. Because I adore to-do lists, this part of the challenge is right up my alley!

In 2011 I want to accomplish…

1. Getting 8 hours of sleep each night. I am the world’s biggest night owl, and I am not a morning person. Being an educator, I wake up around 5-5:30 on weekdays. I cannot detail how many days I wake up in a fog from going to bed a few hours before my wake-up call. Now, when my husband is not traveling, I am early to bed. He’s the good influence in my life! However, my husband travels for work each week, and is often only home on weekends. Because of this sad fact, I must force myself to become the disciplined person I know I can be, and get to sleep at a reasonable time EVERY NIGHT!

2. Tackle my problems with emotional eating. It’s true, I’m an emotional, binge eater. If I’m happy, I eat too much. If I’m sad, I eat too much. If I’m angry, disappointed, bored, insert any emotion here, I eat too much. Breaking this addiction/routine will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my almost three decades on Earth, but I know it is worth it. I’m hoping through journaling and talking with a counselor, I can begin to heal years of self-inflicted abuse.

3. Give up soda and drink more water. At this time two years ago, I was not a soda drinker. It’s amazing how fantastic I felt when I gave up soda. I’m ready to make that change again.

4. Move more! I spend far too much time sitting on my @ss watching tv, on the computer, at my desk, in class, etc, etc, etc. It’s no wonder I’m having circulation issues. I want to move more each day, eventually working into a solid exercise routine. In the past I have given up for rushing into exercise. I don’t want to burn out again, so I will go slowly.

5. Stop obsessing over the numbers on the scale. This was my other huge downfall in the past. I would weigh myself every day, multiple times a day. I became obsessed with the number I was seeing. If the number went down, I was ecstatic and it fueled me to push forward. If the number went up or went nowhere at all, I beat myself up and fell into a depression. No more. I’m weighing myself for the weekly check-in, and that is it. No more being a slave to my scale.

6. Remind myself that even though I am severely obese (yeah, I said it. I’m obese), I will remind myself that I am BEAUTIFUL. I will not brush my husband off when he tells me I’m beautiful. I will accept these things for what they are, fact. The truth of the matter is I am a beautiful person with a kind soul. It’s time I acknowledge myself and give myself more credit than I ever have before.

7. Break the fast food cycle. I will dive deeper into this in an upcoming post.

8. Try something new, like acupuncture or yoga. Explore new healthy lifestyle activities in my area.

So now, on to the big number. I am a little skeptical of putting this information out on the internet, so stop reading if you are inclined to leave an inappropriate comment about me/my weight/etc. Remember what your mother (should have) told you: If you don’t have anything nice to say; don’t say anything at all! I’m harsh enough on myself; I do not need your judgment.

Starting weight: 357.4
Please do not judge me, as I judge myself more harshly than any stranger ever could.

I’m not focusing on an end result (number) right now. I’m more concerned with making healthier choices, feeling more comfortable in my clothing, and feeling more energized.

It’s my time now. It’s time for me to start livin’. That’s the next thing on my list…

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